April, 2013 Chaplain's blog

As preachers, we are trained talkers. In fact, if you are like most pastors, you are probably very good at talking. So, it comes as a surprise to some that in pastoral care, talking is not a highly valued skill. It also comes as a surprised to some of us that it is not a highly effective skill in pastoral care either. When someone really needs to get something off their chest and we are too quick to offer platitudes or hope, we can actually stifle that person’s ability to heal. As chaplains to the injured or sick, we are called to the pastoral care ministry, a ministry called "presence." In other words, sometimes we are not called to speak, but to simply "be." Being can be uncomfortable for some of us. We desire to fill the silence with words of hope or humor (by the way, don't make people laugh after surgery, not a good idea). This speaks much more to our needs rather than focusing on the needs of the patient. I recently had an interaction with someone who said something that made me want to respond. I wanted desperately to tell them about healing in Christ, or to offer to pray with them, or to give some sort of encouragement. However, I fought this temptation and simply stood there with them in that moment. When they looked up, I nodded to them (as if to say "go on") and they shared even more of their story.

In theater, there is a phrase that goes like this, "hey, you stepped on my line." It means that you forgot that someone else had a part and that you needed to wait for him or her to make his or her line before you launch into yours. It's one of the worst mistakes an actor can make. Chaplains can be tempted to step on someone’s line as well. Had I given in to my need to fill the air with noise, had I given in to my need to take care of my own discomfort, I would have never heard this person's line. I never would have heard the rest of the story. Yes, the silence was uncomfortable for me, but it allowed this fellow actor to say his/her line and contribute to the play. The story grew richer and as a result, I knew not only that he/she needed comfort, but also how to comfort. You've heard it said, "don't just stand there, do something," but I tell you "Don't just do something, stand there."

A Reflection on Newtown

A Reflection on Newtown-

After all these months I am still haunted by the reality that in our great country such a horrific event as this occurred. If you have moved on to worries about tensions in the Middle East or threats from the Far East, I apologize for being stuck on the date of December 14, 2012, six days before my granddaughter’s seventh birthday. You see she is in the first grade. 

 Nothing compels us to reevaluate our human condition and reexamine our relationships more than a shocking tragedy. We contemplate the unfathomable and senseless loss of lives, the anguish and trauma of the survivors, the sorrow and support of the community, and the initial outpouring of prayers and sympathy from the nation.

However, in the weeks and months after the Sandy Hook tragedy, when we should be engaged in selfless, caring actions such as occurred after 9/11, instead we find ourselves embroiled in a partisan debate over gun control. Addressing the circumstances of Sandy Hook isn't simply a matter of more gun control, whichever side of the gun control debate you are on. The victims of Sandy Hook are not martyrs to the debate on guns. They are our children and they are the innocents that we let slip away in a moment that we all must admit that we have imaged in our worst nightmares and fears.

In their memory we can do these things:

We can remind ourselves what life is all about. Life is about family and spending time with our kids. Our children need to be reminded daily that we love them. We must also remember they are being immediately impacted by events around the globe for truly we live in a global community, and we are affected by world events. Now is the perfect time to have a plan in place to help you and the children you care about cope with traumatic events.

We need to learn more about mental illnesses. It is sadly ironic that Nancy, the shooter's mother, who was so protective of and devoted to her son Adam, was the first to die.  We must talk with friends and family about "warning signs." No, we certainly can't ensure this horror will never happen again, but each of us can become more aware of those closest to us. We can notice changes in personality or other warning signs. Another way to express this - take more time to personally interact with other people whether at work or school or home, so you're more likely to notice drastic changes.

We need to put down the pitch forks and torches and stop trying to look for or chase away the "monster." Instead, as Americans we need to lean on each other for support. Indeed, we look for the light of love that pierces even the darkest of moments such as these.

   

May, 2013 Chaplain's blog

Chaplain’s Corner- May, 2013

People have different theories about when to fill the car with gas. If you ask my wife, she will tell you that I make a habit of coasting into the gas station on fumes.  I know that you have a hard time feeling much sympathy for anyone who runs out of gas because they let the tank get that low. But did you know that people have emotional gas tanks? In fact many adults are suffering from the effects of an empty emotional gas tank. As hard as we might try, we can’t escape the fact that giving and giving without receiving some nurturing ourselves is not possible or healthy. Just like our cars break down or stop without gas and maintenance, so can human beings. Just like many of our cars (or smart phones) have GPS that help us locate gas stations, our emotions are a GPS system that lets us know when we need to refuel. Some of the common signs of running low or on fumes can be increased crabbiness, lack of energy, being short-tempered, eating and drinking more sugary, caffeinated substances to keep going, and losing patience more quickly than usual.

If you are noticing this in yourself, you might wonder if your emotional tank needs some filling. This could be a simple as a few hours to yourself, a long hot bath, some time with your significant other, or some quiet prayer time. It can be as complex as re-evaluating your job, the amount of activities you or your children are involved in, or commitments you are making that you really don’t want to make.

With summer approaching, people are making travel arrangements, and if they are going by car, they are making sure the car has a full tank of gas. At the same time it might be helpful to look at your own emotional tank. What might you need to do to refill it or keep it filled so that you can navigate the expected and unexpected events without running out of emotional gas?

MARCH CHAPLAIN’S CORNER

MARCH CHAPLAIN’S CORNER

Lent, which began on February 13 this year, continues throughout most of March, culminating on Maundy Thursday, March 28. Therefore, Good Friday is March 29 and Easter Sunday is March 31. I have given a good deal of thought this year concerning a possible conversation with my seven-year old granddaughter about Easter. Most of my ruminations are about how to explain and harmonize the two very different Easter traditions: the Easter Bunny and his basketful of eggs, and the Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ. You might have attempted the same task yourself. If you haven’t been as successful as you might like, or if you haven’t been up to so daunting a task, tag along with me as I first review the history of the two traditions, along with their uneasy synthesis. Consequently, I will attempt to make new sense of the Easter elements, not just for seven year olds, but even more so for those of us who have sought a comprehension that has heretofore eluded us.

Many ancient cultures celebrated the coming of spring, and it is generally thought that Easter got its name from the Anglo-Saxon fertility goddess Eastre (also spelled Eostre, Ostare, Ostara and other variations). This connection was first mentioned by the Christian scholar Bede, who wrote in his book De Ratione Temporum that Easter was named after this goddess. She was the mother goddess of the Saxon people in northern Europe, and she represented spring and fertility, or the life that is reborn every spring after the cold winter. A festival was held each spring in her honor, and she was often shown in the company of a rabbit, which is an enduring symbol of fertility. Some accounts say that the Saxons revered rabbits as the goddess’ earthly incarnation.

Eggs have also been recognized as symbols of fertility and life. There are several myths about Eastre and her rabbits. According to one story, she transformed a pet bird into a rabbit to entertain children, and the rabbit proceeded to lay colored eggs that the goddess then gave to the kids. In another version, a small girl asked the goddess to save a bird. The goddess saved the bird by turning it into a rabbit, which produced colored eggs. Indeed, the tradition of an egg-giving rabbit started in Europe and was later brought to America by German settlers.

 The second tradition of Easter is well known to Christians and it is the most important date of the year to us. It is the morning of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. This date lays the foundation for our eternal existence in God’s presence. Christians believe, according to Scripture, that Jesus came back to life, and that He was raised from the dead only three days after His brutal death on the cross. As part of the Easter season, His death by crucifixion is commemorated on Good Friday, always the Friday just before Easter. Therefore, through His death, burial, and resurrection, Jesus paid the penalty for sin, purchasing for all who believe this, eternal life.

How do you harmonize these two traditions? Perhaps the same way that C.S. Lewis harmonized his fondness for Pagan Norse legends with his nascent Christianity. In Surprised by Joy, Lewis explained that although an atheist at the time, he came closer to developing more love and “adoration” for pagan Norse gods, “whom I disbelieved in, than I had ever done about the true God while I believed….I can almost think that I was sent back to false gods, there to acquire some capacity for worship….when the true God should recall me to Himself.” In the same way we too can develop an appreciation for rebirth in nature during springtime, and then develop a fondness for the symbols of that rebirth through the Easter bunny and his eggs.

On a deeper level the primitive symbols of the rabbit and the eggs can foreshadow our hope for our own rebirth. Indeed, the rabbit or hare has been a popular motif for Christians in other times. In ancient times it was widely believed that the hare could reproduce asexually, that is without loss of virginity, leading, of course, to an association with the Virgin Mary for medieval Christians. You may have noticed hares occurring in medieval paintings of the Virgin and Child. They may also have been associated with the Trinity as in the motif of the three hares forming a triangle or three interlocking shapes such as rings, thus symbolizing the Trinity. In England, this motif usually appears in a prominent place in the church, such as the central rib of the roof, or on a central rib of the nave inside the church.

If this rich symbolism nourished Christians in other ages, we should not shun this same enrichment today. Christians of today should seek the recapitulation of the Gospel in nature, in art, in folklore, and in every part of Creation, thereby seeking every form of nourishment of a spiritual thanksgiving for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ and our own spiritual rebirth along with Him.

The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them

(in company with a bunny and a basketful of eggs).

 

 

 

  

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CHAPLAIN’S CORNER- FEBRUARY, 2013

CHAPLAIN’S CORNER- FEBRUARY, 2013                               

The month of February features two important days that have ties to the Church, Ash Wednesday on February 13, and St. Valentine’s Day on February 14. The former begins a solemn Church season for many Christians that focuses on sacrifice and repentance. The latter is a saint’s day that has been coopted by secular forces, and that highlights romantic love and over indulgence. 

”From dust you have come. To dust you shall return.” This declaration will be repeated countless millions of times on Wednesday, February 13, as people from various Christian denominations around the world receive a unique mark on their foreheads made with ashes. The ashes are burnt palm leaves that are dispensed by ministers and priests, who articulate this Scriptural phrase from Genesis each time they form the ashes as a cross on each forehead. This observance of Ash Wednesday begins the Church season of Lent, a forty day period before Easter. We skip Sundays when we count the forty days, because Sundays commemorate the Resurrection.

In most churches, Lenten liturgical colors are purple or blue, royal colors to prepare for the King. In antiquity, purple dye was very expensive, so purple came to signify wealth, power, and royalty. Therefore purple is the color for the seasons of Advent and Lent, both of which celebrate the coming of the King. Since Christians prepare for our King through reflection and repentance, purple has become a penitential color also. In some traditions cactus or wild plants replace flowers in areas of worship to give the ascetic appearance of the dry and barren desert. Symbolically, we are taken into the desert with Jesus, imitating his humility in depriving himself of his own divinity, and living as man.

In older traditions, all mirrors were covered to prevent someone from being too vain, and music was turned off or lowered in volume to remind folks to be respectful in remembrance of these Holy Days of our Lord. Food in homes became scarce, and hues of clothes darkened, as if in mourning, turning people's attention from themselves to prayer. Bright colors and the color white were only worn during Holy Week and during the Easter season. Celebrations were minimized or left for after the Lenten season. Business functions were minimized during this season, and even closed on Good Friday. You not only sensed, but you also understood that something awesome was transpiring. Undeniably, this time was not like any other time of the year. In our own time the practice of Lent is to encourage people to give up something they enjoy doing a lot, and often to give the time or money spent doing that thing to charitable purposes or organizations. We are also encouraged to share with the less fortunate, depriving ourselves of pleasures so that we can identify with those in need.

Lent then is a time for soul searching and repentance and fasting. Moreover, it is a time when we seek to turn away from the indulgences that our secular society promotes. However, just as we begin a commitment to repentance and fasting on one day this year, the following day, St. Valentine’s Day, invites us to excess all the more.

St. Valentine’s Day began to be an important Church holiday in the early middle Ages to commemorate the martyrdom of a Christian bishop. More than one Bishop Valentinus may have been historically involved, but the narrative usually asserts that this saintly man was arrested initially for performing marriages for people it was unlawful to marry, such as soldiers and Christians. During his captivity he allegedly healed the blind daughter of the judge involved in his case. Though his captors seemed to be captivated by him, this doesn’t seem to have mitigated the ultimate punishment for his offences. Saint Valentine was still clubbed, beaten and beheaded.

The ensuing feast day that celebrates this saint’s unconditional love has evolved to become something else indeed, a kind of secular High Holy Day for romantic love. Through the ages the practice of exchanging notes of love between those smitten also evolved. From the 19th century to modern times, handwritten notes have given way to mass-produced greeting cards. Valentine’s Day has become a tremendous boon for merchants as billions of dollars are spent yearly on cards, flowers, chocolates and other gifts. Indeed, jewelers aggressively promote Valentine's Day as an occasion for giving diamonds and other precious stones. The rise of Internet popularity is creating new traditions. An estimated 15 million e-valentines were sent in 2010.

Truly the fact that these two widely disparate days fall next to each other on the calendar this year symbolizes our modern dilemma. How do we create separate space for the holy and the secular when they are so closely intertwined in our culture? Indeed, for many of us the holy or spiritual seems to be a delicate bloom that will be suffocated by the fast growing secular weed if it is not constantly tended. However, it is not such a delicate bloom after all. It just needs to be fertilized and watered at intervals. If these are long intervals the bloom won’t perish; it will just lay dormant waiting for a better season.   

Whatever your faith tradition and whatever your observance of Ash Wednesday is or is not,  I encourage you to spend a few moments assessing your life and the condition of your spiritual bloom. Your Lenten bulbs may be dormant and need some nourishment. Remember that Lent is a prelude to springtime, both figuratively and seasonally, when

 The desert will rejoice, and flowers will bloom in the wastelands. (Isaiah 35:1)

  Then be sure you don’t forget your sweetheart on February 14.